Breast reconstruction is often a physically demanding, long-haul process. As such, it is not a task to undertake alone. Its physical and emotional components can make it overwhelming for caregivers as well as patients. We’ve covered communication and some of the interpersonal dynamics that come with caregiving in the past, but it can be difficult to assess what it means to provide practical help day-to-day. This is particularly true for primary caregivers. These partners, children, parents, and friends often feel plunged into unfamiliar territory. If that sounds like you, read on for some actionable tips on where to begin.
Learn as much as you can.
Start with information. Patients are under tremendous stress. To add to that strain, anesthesia and post-op pain management can further cloud the mind. One of the best things you can do is reduce their intellectual burden. You don’t need to be an expert, but context is helpful for both you and them. Learn about the type of breast reconstruction procedure they’re having before they have it. If that’s not possible, read up during their recovery. This information will help you understand what to expect from their recovery, what’s normal, and what’s not. It will also help you understand what you need to do in order to provide appropriate support.
Be their ears.
Post-op care instructions can arrive in a blur. If you are able to join your loved one for office visits and/or speak to their medical team after their procedure, take notes. Ask questions, too. Use what you’ve learned to ensure that the person you’re supporting has complete information. What may seem like common sense or easy-to-remember instructions or expectations in the moment can be surprisingly difficult to recall later on. Notes make things easier on you, and they help reduce uncertainty. They take the guesswork out of care when you’re in the thick of it.
Stay organized.
Between self-education and note-taking, supporting post-op care after breast reconstruction is a lot like being in school. Organization is key. Keep your loved one’s discharge information (this typically comes in a folder or an envelope when they are discharged from the hospital) alongside any documentation from their doctor in one place. Be sure to include their health insurance information and surgeon contact information in that packet in case of emergency. If, for example, the person you’re supporting seems like they may have an infection, the surgeon’s office should be your first call. (N.B. A high fever and redness at the surgical site may be signs of a serious infection that warrants an immediate trip to the emergency room. Your loved one’s surgeon should brief you on preferred protocols after surgery.)
Keep a written medication log.
It can be tempting to look at the clock and assume you’ll remember when your loved one took pain medication or other post-op medication. Resist that temptation. The more you write down, the better. Document everything for security and so that it’s easy to pick up where you left off. If and when you need a break, documentation makes it easy for someone else to step in for an hour or a day or whatever interval you need.
Be honest with your loved one and yourself when it comes to your limitations.
Some caregivers are comfortable enough to help their loved one do things like empty their closed-suction drains or check their incisions. Others are not comfortable providing support in those more areas. That’s OK! The most important thing is to communicate your boundaries and limitations so that you and your loved one can plan accordingly. You don’t need to do everything. Set reasonable expectations for yourself, and delegate as needed.
Stay tuned for more content for primary caregivers, along with tips for folks outside a patient’s inner circle who are looking to help!
